I believe the kids these days call it ‘masking’

I’m not afraid of mice but I want to seem like I am, I told my dad.

Why would you want that, he asked.

It’s girly, to not like mice. And I’m a girl. But my favourite colour is green so I’ll need to pretend it’s not. Lots to work on. Pink’s okay.

My mother worked in radio. I attended a live broadcast she was producing, and she introduced me to a sound engineer.

I won’t shake your hand, mine’s filthy, he laughed.

My mother laughed too. I put my hands in my pockets.

I’m messin’, he clarified, and stuck his hand out, but now I was unsure. I left my hands in my pockets and squirmed.

Shake his hand! My mother exclaimed.

I did so, unsmiling and uncertain.